


AU Meme: Donna Noble

by thisbluespirit



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Ficlet, Gen, Memes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2017-10-25
Packaged: 2019-01-23 01:20:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12495240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisbluespirit/pseuds/thisbluespirit
Summary: 10 AU scenarios for Donna Noble, written for justice_turtle in a Dreamwidth meme.





	AU Meme: Donna Noble

**Wild West**  
“That was quite the gun fight, wasn’t it?” said Donna’s neighbour, Doc Smith.

Donna looked blank. “What?”

“The gunfight in the middle of Main Street. You know – yesterday. Got a bit out of hand. Sixteen dead and would have been more if – well, I don’t like to boast, but –”

“I wouldn’t know. I was busy collecting wood.”

“And the bank robbery on Monday?”

“Monday? You know that’s laundry day.”

“Yeah. Silly me. Don’t suppose you noticed when they blew up the jail last week, either?”

“Must have been before I got back from visiting Granddad in the next town.”

 

 **Coffee Shop**  
“Now look what you’ve done!”

The coffee shop was a mess: tables upended, coffee and tea spilt across its olde world floorboards and biscuit crumbs everywhere.

“Yeah,” said the skinny, irritating repair guy, drawing out the word. “Sorry. Really. I’m so sorry.”

Donna handed him a mop. “You better be, matey. Get cleaning!”

“But on the other hand, I couldn’t let anyone drink the coffee, could I?”

“Yeah,” she said, putting her hands on her hips. “That’s the other thing: what the _hell_ did you do to the coffee machine in the first place? You on a mission to poison everyone or what?”

The repair guy paused for a long moment. “Or what,” he said, eventually.

 

 **Shapeshifters**  
“Donna,” said the Doctor. “I can take you anywhere in time and space. The whole universe at your command! And yet you prefer to disguise yourself as a soap dispenser in the ladies loo of a TV studio?”

“Hey, I’m getting some quality gossip here,” said the soap dispenser. “Don’t knock it. I could make a mint when you get me home again.”

 

 **Fantasy/Fairy Tale**  
“You know, spells like this are supposed to be broken with a kiss.”

Donna glared. “I told you, Mr Pixie-whatever-it-is-you-are, no funny business! Besides,” she added “slapping you seemed to work just fine. And you can’t say you didn’t deserve it.”

 

 **. . . In SPACE!!**  
“Captain,” said the Second Technician. “We’ve double-checked all the systems. None of us can identify the cause of this malfunction. We may be trapped in this nebula.”

There was a loud coughing from behind them.

The Captain raised an eyebrow. “Who is that and what does she want?”

“She’s Filing Clerk Moa’s temporary replacement. Yes, what is it?”

Donna Noble walked over. “Look, I know I’m not an expert, but that Flight Officer said he was securing the ship before he collapsed. Call me stupid, but have you checked you haven’t left the brakes on?”

There was a long pause.

“Well, now, this is embarrassing,” said the Second Technician. “That does indeed appear to be the case…”

 

 **Apocalypse**  
“I couldn’t stop them,” said the Doctor, gazing out at the vast landscape of ash. “They wouldn’t listen.”

Donna was also upset about watching someone’s world end, but there was only so long you could stand on a planet’s grave, as it were. “I know,” she said, and slipped her arm through his. “But how about we go find somewhere we _can_ save, eh, Doctor?”

 

 **Schoolfic**  
“It’s persecution, that’s what it is,” said Donna. “I mean, look at me, I got injured, I could have been killed –”

“It was a nosebleed!”

“And what did I do to deserve it? I was just standing there, minding my own business –”

“You stole Penny’s mirror!”

“I was _borrowing_ it, was it my fault if she wasn’t there when I wanted it? It wasn’t like I wasn’t going to put it back. And I only chipped it a tiny bit. Don’t know what she was making a fuss about. I thought I was going to bleed to death and I all I get is a detention, no sympathy or anything.”

“Yeah, right. It’s a travesty of justice,” said John. “Can’t think what came over the Head.”

 

 **Police/Firefighters/Medical**  
“So,” said Donna, “that’s three coffees, and one herbal tea for the Super.”

“Thanks, love,” said the DI. “What was your name again?”

Donna managed not to glare as she walked out. Why had she thought being a policewoman would be exciting? This WPC, she decided, was walking out of here. Any day now.

 

 **Supernatural**  
Donna’s friend’s family seemed to have some odd ideas, she decided. She’d been invited over for a sleepover and then put in a room about three miles away from the rest of the family, in a big old four-poster bed, which she’d thought was pretty cool at the time, but then the racket had started up, like a banshee howling.

It turned out it was a banshee howling.

“If you don’t shut up,” Donna bawled back at it, “ _I’ll_ scream and see how you like it!”

Wisely, the spectre fled.

 

 **Regency**  
“Are you following me?” said Miss Noble, swinging round to face the thin man who’d been lurking in the shadows nearby. “I’ll yell for the constable if you try anything!”

“No, not following as such,” said the stranger. “It’s just that I’ve never seen a lady thrown out of Almack’s like that. Refused entry, _yes_. Actually thrown out, kicking and screaming, that’s rare.”

“I’ll have you know I had a voucher!” Then she sighed. “Well, all right, so it might have been a forgery, but still, was that any call to overreact?”

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Good Clean Fun](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15978224) by [Karios](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Karios/pseuds/Karios)




End file.
